Swapping Shirts with Shakespeare: Dover versus Forest Green

Enter Edgar, King Lear, Jon Parkin, Ye Beast, Dale Vince as Duke of Frocester, Scotty Bartlett and various morris dancers as footballers
Scene ; The white cliffs of Dover

‘Come on, sir; here’s the place: stand still. How fearful
And dizzy ’tis, to cast one’s eyes so low!
The footballs high that wing the midway air
Show scarce so gross as the Beast: half way down
Hangs one that goal-hanger lurks, dreadful trade!
Methinks he seems no bigger than his head:
The football men, that walk upon the beach,
Appear like mice; and yond tall anchoring Beast,
Diminish’d to a speck; a speck, a Beast
Almost too small for sight: the murmuring surge,
That on the unnumber’d idle pebbles chafes,
Cannot be heard so high. I’ll look no more;
Lest my brain turn, and the deficient sight
Topple down headlong.
But wait anon! The Beast doth soar high yet –
He crashes the ball high in the Dover net.
My Lord! Come thee hence to scry this wondrous scene.

A late winner methinks for the lads of Forest Green.’